Guest Post Tampa Bay HEAT Homeschool 101, Melissa Hale, Spouseisms

 

The following is a guest post from my friend Melissa Hale who has been sucessfully homeschooling her 2 beautiful daughters past several years.  In this piece, she describes transitioning from public school to homeschool and offers a realistic picture of that experience and words of encouragement. 

I pray this meets you right where you are and breathes a little wind in your sail.

Jen

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          If you think you might and

            you think you should, 

          you might should."

My friend, Janice,  said this to another friend, Rachel, who was considering homeschooling. We were standing in the middle of the Florida Parent Educator's Association (FPEA) Convention. I had encouraged Rachel to come check it out to see the many options available to us modern-day homeschoolers. We were bee-boppin' all around and I was showing her all the great tools out there and introducing her to all my people!

There was a slight problem: I'm pretty sure I was dangling on the proverbial edge of my annual Convention-induced meltdown. Seriously. I do this every year. Still!

(I'll get back to the meltdown in a minute.)

I blame this meltdown on our public school experience. I do. I don't mean my personal public school experience, I mean that of my girls. Every teacher we had was wonderful and, I believe, genuinely loved my girls. The school was in a small community with a lot of teachers and students we know personally. Before my oldest daughter's kindergarten teacher was assigned, I was on the PTA board. No joke. I got the position during the summer and I loved it. The sanguine in me was in my element. I volunteered at the school often and spent some time in the classroom with my girls. I could see first hand how great these teachers were. We had the best public school situation anyone could ask for.

Still, it wasn't home.

There had always been a part of me that thought I might should bring my girls home. It was always nagging at me that I could school them and I knew that our school situation wouldn't always be so grand.

So, I pulled them out. Out of the blue. You can read a little more about that here.

When my girls were in 2nd grade and Kindergarten, they came home for Christmas break and never went back. Our family knew it was the right thing for us to do; although, I'm pretty sure our friends thought we were nuts. We were all right!

I quickly mailed my Letter of Intent before I could change my mind. I cried when I talked to the principal and the teachers. They were so encouraging, really. I let them know that I may well be back there in the fall if I flunked as a homeschool parent.  I showed up at one of the teacher's houses to tell her. What? That's not creepy! I cried on her lanai and she asked me to homeschool her boys. I love that woman. She's also the reason I have a meltdown every full moon and Convention.

I tell you all of this so that, hopefully, even without me serving you some chips and salsa, you will allow me to encourage you should you decide to make the transition from public school to homeschool.

You were the first teacher. -- This makes you the best teacher. Oh, how I play the game of "Finishing that education degree would have been the smart thing to do." I had Florida Prepaid College. I blew a great deal of it. My major is/was English Education. I've been a Senior at USF off and on since 1999. Guess what? I only need to be one day smarter than my girls. Sometimes only 5 minutes smarter. You can do this.

Capture their hearts the first year. -- As an educator at heart, this advice made my head hurt. People would say, "You can't count the whole first year." What? The whole first year? I can't blow off a whole year of learning! Not on my watch! Here's the deal: I didn't know how much authority I had given away until I tried to get it back. For real. I had spent so much time building up the teachers as "THE teachers", my oldest daughter didn't think I could teach her. At one low moment, she actually said to me, "Mom, you only know how to teach high schoolers." She was in the 2nd grade!! So, as much as you can, just love on them the first year. Play Yahtzee for math, or UNO. Get Banagrams. Read, read, read. Read aloud. Cook. Go to the park.  Do the fun part of learning and just connect your hearts. Memorize passages of Scripture together. This will help minimize those 'low moments'.

Which brings me to...

The highs are high and the lows are low. -- Let's not pretend here. Homeschooling, like it's twin sister, Parenting, is not for sissies. The children are carnal creatures and they know what buttons to push and what buttons to dance around on for dramatic effect. They can smell weakness. They will test you. I don't tell you this to scare you, but to arm you! If you know that there are going to be some hellacious days, you will be less likely to quit when those days come! Only total spaztards like me quit every month.

Insecurity is the devil! -- We have to fight this one together! I have never been so insecure about anything as I am about educating my girls! I mean nothing! Not speaking in front of large audiences, not speaking on television, not cellulite. On the flip side, some of my friends are insecure about their choice to have their kids in public school. We have to encourage one another! That said, I have to remember the encouraging words I have said to others and apply them to myself! I know that a good deal of my insecurity comes from the fact that I saw with my own eyes how great my girls' teachers were. Had we had a negative experience, I would probably be thinking, "Well, at least I'm doing better than that!"

The Curriculum works for you, you don't work for the curriculum. -- Now, you are freaking out about curriculum right now, because you are just going to stock up on books and games and grease that bicycle chain, but LATER, when you are ready, remember that about curriculum. And, remind me of it every now and again, would ya? Picture this: It's May 15th and your Language Arts book still has 3 months of work left in it. How did this happen? What a loser mom! It's not the kids' fault, they are just kids! I am so DONE with schooling right now, no way can we skip Summer!? I should have had more of a schedule! I shouldn't have let him do drums AND soccer! How will he be president??? Here's what you do: CLOSE UP SHOP! Ask any of your teacher friends if they do every single lesson in their books. Do it. Ask 'em! They don't! And, you don't have to, either! My hands are on my hips and I am using my best 4th grade voice, "The curriculum is not the boss of me!" You have been given dominion over the curriculum, not the other way around. Be free!!

I really wish we could munch on some chips and salsa face to face. I would tell you that I love homeschooling... most days. That anything worth doing is hard. I would tell you about the days we couldn't even FIND our math book. I would tell you that I blame myself that my youngest doesn't spell as well as my oldest and the only difference is how long they went to public school. And, I hope you would tell me how ridiculous that is and that there are plenty of PS kids that aren't great spellers. I would tell you that my kids are not at all social retarded. They can hold their own with peers and adults alike. I would tell you that some of our best days have been doing reading and math out on the trampoline. Maddy's best poem was written there, too. I would tell you that many math assignments have been completed on I-4 on the way to Disney where we would practice our mapping skills and multiplication facts while standing in line. This is also a good way to work on lapsed time, i.e., "We got in line at 11:37am, it is now 12:10pm, how long have we been in line?"

Before we ended our chips and salsa chat, I would ask if I could pray for you. And, you would let me.

Jesus, Thank you for moms who follow your leadership into the unknown and tough places. Lord, please give these women peace in their decision to educate their children. These children are gifts, and I pray that we would be sensitive to the Holy Spirit's guidance in what ways to teach our children academically each year. Help us, Lord, to have the courage to change paths when you tell us to. Help us to encourage one another to follow you with complete abandon. Thank you for homeschooling and the freedom to parent the way I see fit. Thank you, Lord, for being the perfect parent. Amen.

Melissa Hale

He who began a good work in you will be faithful to 
complete it until the day of Christ Jesus.  Philippians 1:6

http://www.spouseisms.blogspot.com

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Guest Post: Homeschooling for the Long Haul

This is another guest post, this time from my sweet friend Heidi at MusingsoftheBlearyEyed.wordpress.com  I asked Heidi to write this piece to help assuage some of the fear and guilt associated with homeschooling through high school.  She is a homeschool graduate who is now schooling 4 children under the age of seven (hence the name of her blog)

Homeschooling for the Long Haul

My friend, Jen, over at Homeschooling in High Heels asked me for a post to encourage homeschooling parents that are facing the high school years. So here goes…
(disclaimer: this is not written from my experience as a homeschooling parent for the long haul, rather from my experiences as a homeschooled student from 1st through 12th grade. I understand that the task of homeschooling all the way through high school is a difficult one and I pray that God gives me the grace and strength to do so when the time comes. May He grant you the grace and strength to walk the path He has laid before you too.)
When I was at the tender age of 5 my parents were introduced to the idea of home education. I wish I could remember what their initial reaction was…I mean, as common as home education is today it was downright strange back then. I’m not sure how much time passed between hearing the idea and deciding to take the leap but leap they did. Right into the deep end of the pool. By faith alone. My sister was going into 3rd grade, I was ready for 1st and little sister was along for the ride. They faced rude and pessimistic comments from the private school we had been attending. Most family members were not antagonistic, rather, they were curiously doubtful, but I am sure they all thought my parents had lost it. Still, my parents persevered.
There were struggles. Teaching a child to read isn’t easy. Teaching math, science, history, and geography while simultaneously coaching good character and conflict resolution is exhausting. There was also the fear of some government authority knocking on your door and taking your children away.
Fast forward 25 years. My parents have graduated 6 out of 7 children. (my youngest brother is 14 and for the first time ever my mom only has one student) We can all read, write, add, subtract, multiply, and divide. We can locate countries on a map…as well as use a map to figure out how to get where we are going. We can share delightful tidbits of information on many historical topics. Oh, and thanks to my Dad’s influence, we will never forget the Pythagorean equation. We have jobs, families, and function well in society. (there goes that “homeschoolers aren’t socialized” argument. ha!) We each have a strong faith and an even stronger bond to each other.
Now, I’m not sharing this to brag. The thing is, my parents are not perfect. Our life and education was not perfect. My Mom, in particular, has struggled often with feeling like she was failing as a homeschooling mom, that there were gaps in our education. From my perspective as a second generation homeschooler, I admit there may be some information that my siblings and I missed along the way. However, we learned how to learn. How to follow our interests and find answers to our questions. Personal Opinion? Learning how to learn is more important than what you learn.
So that is my history in a nutshell.
I’ve been asked before about what I missed out on as a homeschooler. As a young teenager, there was a time when I wanted to attend public school. (Mostly because I had an older cousin who was so cool.) I have to tell you though, there was also a time when I was ready to pack my bags, leave my family and move to Soviet Russia to be a ballerina. I also wanted to change my name to Cassandra at one point because “it is a much prettier name than Heidi.” None of these wishes were based in reality, only passing fantasy and I am no worse off because my parents refused to give in to my notions. Perhaps I am even better off.
And what about that whole rite of passage that is public high school complete with clubs and proms and the like? Allow me to answer by giving you a glimpse into what high school was like for me…

• I worked with a team of fellow homeschoolers teaching character education in a local (public) elementary school. We adapted curriculum, wrote & preformed skits, made two short films, designed & created costumes & props, tutored…we had as much fun as any club.
• I worked with a catering company. They liked hiring homeschoolers because our hours were more flexible. It was work but it was also fun. It was also part of how I met my husband.
• I played in the Tampa Bay Youth Orchestras for several years and enjoyed every minute of it! Musically, I have never found anything that compares with being on stage with a hundred other musicians creating something almost electrifying in its magnitude.
• I’ve always had a bit of a theater bug and after being on stage with orchestra I had the fever something fierce. The problem was finding an outlet for that– an acting group that would accept a teenager with little experience and that only preformed family friendly fare. What does a homeschooler do when they can’t find something that meets their needs? They create it! And so I did. I researched, I planned, I rounded up some friends and started my own Drama Club. Eventually, a friend and I wrote & directed 2 Christmas plays for our church.
• My sister and I started a cake decorating business. It started as a hobby that I was interested in, then we both took the Wilton classes. We made wedding cakes, graduation cakes, birthday cakes…we learned how to keep records, figure cost, and set prices.
• I helped my grandfather with the care and training of his horses and competed in a horse show.
• We (2 of my sisters and myself) had the awesome opportunity to spend two summers working with a photographer near Atlanta. We did everything from scheduling appointments to arranging backdrops & props to mounting negatives to assisting during sessions.
• Around the time that “everyone” was going to prom and having a”great time” we planned our own special event. My sister, a good friend and I had our hair fixed up nice and spent the day at Cypress Gardens dressed as Southern Belles. Our mothers and siblings played paparazzi and we did our senior pictures there.
• A lot of people ask about graduation and, to be honest, when it came time to graduate a ceremony was important to me. Nowadays the FPEA offers a statewide graduation ceremony each year as part of their annual convention in Orlando but it wasn’t an option then. I had several friends that were finishing school that same year, after getting approval from our parents and pastor (it was a church event) we organized and planned our own ceremony. We included elements that were important to us. For example: a speech from a graduate thanking our parents, followed by presenting our parents with a rose; the presentation of diplomas was done by the family of the graduate and each father & mother spoke a blessing over their child. The only detail that was not decided by the graduates was the color of our caps and gowns. We were at an impasse, so the parents stepped in and decided. In order to be impartial, the parents chose to refuse all the color options that had already been discussed and go with something completely different…they chose teal. I’ve almost gotten over my bitterness about graduating in such an undignified color.

I didn’t realize how busy my high school years were…and that is without considering that actual bookwork! Now that you know what I did, here is what I missed:

• School lunches – my husband avoids tater tots to this day. Enough said.
• Early mornings – I come from a family of night owls, so we especially enjoyed the benefit of starting our day when it worked best for us instead of heading out the door at 0:dark-thirty.
• Stereotypical social groups – I was never called a nerd, jock, band geek, teacher’s pet, etc. I was never labeled based on where I lived, how I dressed, or what my hobbies were. I am particularly grateful that I missed out on this part of public high school. I know myself, I know who I was then. There is not doubt in my mind which group I would have been relegated to and the negative effect it would have had on me for the rest of my life.
• Learning at the same speed as everyone else. I have a friend that graduated at 16…he was smart and motivated and because he was homeschooled, he was able to move at his own pace.
• Prom – ok, yes, I missed out on prom. There was a time in my life when that fact bothered me. Then I grew up. Two of my sisters had the opportunity to go to prom with friends and they were, shall we say, a little let down after all the hype.

This is my experience. Just as everyone who goes to public school comes out with a different viewpoint (some see high school as the pinnacle of their life and for others it was like sitting on death row for 4 years) so all homeschoolers have a different experience. The beauty of home education is that the parent and student can have greater control over the negative aspects and make room for more time for the positive aspects. Talk to your child, tell them about your high school experience, listen to their concerns and interests. Then you will be well prepared to form a plan that will maximize your child’s strengths and give them the high school experience they desire. Then breathe deeply. No education is perfect. It will all turn out ok.