What do you do when you see a penny on the ground? A nickel? A quarter?
Driving down the road last year with a friend, I spotted bills peppering the side of the road just beyond a convenience store.
My friend and I split the unidentifiable 18 bucks.
In high school and college, I was a cashier for Publix. I had the opportunity to meet the company's founder a few times. George Jenkins personified the entrepreneur of his generation in that he would personally visit his stores and speak to each employee, shake hands and share the story of how the company was started.
The stories invariably emphasized personal character, drive, and a focus on and appreciation for the customer through excellent customer service.
On one occasion, this man, small of frame but big on vision, stood holding my hand and looking me straight in the eyes and told me something I have never forgotten.
In the early days, Mr. Jenkins would scout his competition to try and figure out what his competitors were offering their customers that might prevent him from obtaining their business. He told me that once he was walking through the parking lot of a competitor's store and spotted a penny on the ground. He retrieved a penny from his own pocket for effect and held it in front of my eyes,
pinched between his thumb and forefinger and said,
"I picked it up and I said to myself, you (my competitor) don't get this penny."
This millionaire of a man still valued the penny.
_______________________________________________________
Over my favorite Sunday date food of Bonefish Grill's Bang Bang Shrimp and a Caesar salad,
I met a 1982 penny.
My twenty year old server was a tiny little thing with great skin and beautiful features. While pleasant and quick whited, she had the air bearing burdens and responsibilities with an absence of joy.
Pure, unadulterated 'gutting it out'
Among other things, I'm sure,
Among other things, I'm sure,
her live in boyfriend had left the apartment with her car, forgetting to leave the car seat for their baby.
I tried to say something to patch it up, lighten her mood.
"Oh, dads aren't used to carting the kids around as much as us moms. It's probably pretty easy to forget."
She would have none of it.
It wasn't just frustration, she was clearly wrestling feelings of rejection.
She felt undervalued because of his error,
as though if she were important, he wouldn't have made that mistake.
She felt undervalued because of his error,
as though if she were important, he wouldn't have made that mistake.
There was something in their relationship, or in her past, that caused her to interpret his error as a rejection of her and her value.
You ever done that? Oh boy, I have.
It's lucky for me my husband was not similarly afflicted that day as he could have taken my interest in our young server as a rejection of his effort to engage me in a date night.
___________________________________________________
A few days later, my daughter told me about a 2003 'Penny' she met at a summer church camp.
"Mom, you know my friend Penny? Well, we were doing our makeup in "No Boys Allowed" class and you know what she told me? Mom, no body's ever told her she's beautiful. Isn't that sad?"
Yes it's sad. It's also common. It's also familiar.
"But Mom, I told her she was beautiful. I don't think she liked me telling her though."
Also sad. Also common. Also familiar.
____________________________________________________
You can find Pennies everywhere.
The high school cheerleader, book nerd, emo chick.
She's the girl that doesn't try anymore or the girl who tries too hard.
She's the mom addicted to prescription drugs, alcohol, romance novels or PTA service.
She's the employee that works too hard for too little respect or too little pay.
She's the one who can't keep a job.
She's the bulimic, the anorexic, the cutter, the exhibitionist, the risk taker,
the under-achiever and the performer.
She's the one that rejects her femininity.
She's the one who exploits her femininity to gain the attention she craves.
She's the one who is confused about the circumstances she finds herself in years later-
the result of the choices she's made, or the choices she was unable to make.
_________________________________________________________
An ounce of prevention:
We can tell our daughters often that they are significant, lovely, valuable.
They need to hear that they have been gifted and equipped for important things and that they have a responsibility to cultivate those attributes and their character so that they are ready when God calls.
They need to be shown respect.
They need to experience satisfaction in a job well done. They need to be appreciated.
They need a father who tells them they are beautiful, smiles at them when they dance and will hold their hand when they're dressed as a princess, clicking their plastic high heels on the concrete floor through Lowes.
They need dates with their dad.
Little girls have questions in their hearts that should be answered first by their dad.
If these questions go unnoticed, ignored, denied, unanswered, is it any wonder they grow up feeling like a penny in a parking lot?
Eager to be seen? Noticed? Picked up? Valued?
They will grow up imprisoned and with an insatiable hunger.
Imprisoned because it robs them of their freedom to make choices.
It's a constant slavery to the question of 'what's my value?'
Insatiable because the ones that notice her don't see her value, only her usefulness.
When that is exhausted, they discard her into another parking lot.
And she feels the hunger pains again iced with the conviction that, just as she suspected,
she has no value.
_________________________________________________________________
But God scans the parking lot of His creation for Pennies.
He reaches down and pinches up a Penny between the thumb and forefinger of His Victorious Right Hand.
He says, "Devil, you don't get this Penny."
He delights in a pocket full of Pennies, and man, does He have big pockets.
He sent His Son to heal the broken hearted.
He's a Father to the fatherless.
He has declared from the beginning our eternal value and He demonstrated it on the cross.
___________________________________________________________________
If you come across a Penny, please be patient and don't take their tarnished behavior, manner of speaking, attitudes or countenance personally.
They just have questions that for too long have gone unanswered.
Even if they get answered correctly, it takes time for it to sink in and for them to see themselves differently.
As I was leaving the restaurant, I said to my Penny, "Please don't be too hard on him. It's just hard to remember car seats when you're not used to taking care of details like that."
She said to me, "He better get used to it. I'm pregnant again."
________________________________________
___________________________________________________
A few days later, my daughter told me about a 2003 'Penny' she met at a summer church camp.
"Mom, you know my friend Penny? Well, we were doing our makeup in "No Boys Allowed" class and you know what she told me? Mom, no body's ever told her she's beautiful. Isn't that sad?"
Yes it's sad. It's also common. It's also familiar.
"But Mom, I told her she was beautiful. I don't think she liked me telling her though."
Also sad. Also common. Also familiar.
____________________________________________________
You can find Pennies everywhere.
The high school cheerleader, book nerd, emo chick.
She's the girl that doesn't try anymore or the girl who tries too hard.
She's the mom addicted to prescription drugs, alcohol, romance novels or PTA service.
She's the employee that works too hard for too little respect or too little pay.
She's the one who can't keep a job.
She's the bulimic, the anorexic, the cutter, the exhibitionist, the risk taker,
the under-achiever and the performer.
She's the one that rejects her femininity.
She's the one who exploits her femininity to gain the attention she craves.
She's the one who is confused about the circumstances she finds herself in years later-
the result of the choices she's made, or the choices she was unable to make.
_________________________________________________________
An ounce of prevention:
We can tell our daughters often that they are significant, lovely, valuable.
They need to hear that they have been gifted and equipped for important things and that they have a responsibility to cultivate those attributes and their character so that they are ready when God calls.
They need to be shown respect.
They need to experience satisfaction in a job well done. They need to be appreciated.
They need a father who tells them they are beautiful, smiles at them when they dance and will hold their hand when they're dressed as a princess, clicking their plastic high heels on the concrete floor through Lowes.
They need dates with their dad.
Little girls have questions in their hearts that should be answered first by their dad.
If these questions go unnoticed, ignored, denied, unanswered, is it any wonder they grow up feeling like a penny in a parking lot?
Eager to be seen? Noticed? Picked up? Valued?
They will grow up imprisoned and with an insatiable hunger.
Imprisoned because it robs them of their freedom to make choices.
It's a constant slavery to the question of 'what's my value?'
Insatiable because the ones that notice her don't see her value, only her usefulness.
When that is exhausted, they discard her into another parking lot.
And she feels the hunger pains again iced with the conviction that, just as she suspected,
she has no value.
_________________________________________________________________
But God scans the parking lot of His creation for Pennies.
He reaches down and pinches up a Penny between the thumb and forefinger of His Victorious Right Hand.
He says, "Devil, you don't get this Penny."
He delights in a pocket full of Pennies, and man, does He have big pockets.
He sent His Son to heal the broken hearted.
He's a Father to the fatherless.
He has declared from the beginning our eternal value and He demonstrated it on the cross.
___________________________________________________________________
If you come across a Penny, please be patient and don't take their tarnished behavior, manner of speaking, attitudes or countenance personally.
They just have questions that for too long have gone unanswered.
Even if they get answered correctly, it takes time for it to sink in and for them to see themselves differently.
As I was leaving the restaurant, I said to my Penny, "Please don't be too hard on him. It's just hard to remember car seats when you're not used to taking care of details like that."
She said to me, "He better get used to it. I'm pregnant again."
________________________________________
Jen
Excellent.
ReplyDelete