The intent of these images are to entice me to tune in to the 25th anniversary celebration of Shark Week on the Discovery Channel kicking off August 12, and watch "Night after Night. Bite After Bite."
I actually had to go to the website to look up that information because, unfortunately for Discovery, once I see this image, my brain is focused on the new school year and everything that threatens to take big, bleeding chunk out of my success. "Night After Night. Bite After Bite"
Every year I face the same frustrations, distractions and obstacles and each year I have to take the time to be proactive. I get a little sloppy with my personal disciplines over the summer and forsake some of the strategies and practices that help me be an effective homeschool administrator, teacher and family manager.
As the scripture goes, before you build the city
you have to count the costs.
#1: Re-examine our commitment to Homeschooling. I'm more regularly asked now that my oldest will be going into his last year of middle school and my youngest entering Kindergarten/1st grade (I haven't decided), "How long will you Homeschool?" Invariably, my answer is "I don't know." And I don't. We enjoy homeschooling and I believe that by some very objective and subjective measures we have been quite successful. But our circumstances are subject to change year by year and each of our children's needs are quite different. Each year it's imperative that I thoroughly and honestly examine my heart and check my motives and seek God's will and blessing for our family. I need to explore the needs of each one of my children and have the courage to examine all the options available for meeting those needs. I choose to have an impartial judge who lives outside my daily life and "village" who can look at our circumstances and give me hard feedback and help me to process the practical implications of whatever realities we uncover. I need to meet with my husband and have him reaffirm to me his commitment to lead a homeschooling family and to define and agree with me on what 'his support' looks like. Literally, we talk financial and emotional support, practical support in the form of teaching certain subjects or topics, assisting in certain extra-curricular activities and concessions on things like household chores. (I'm only one person!) Once he and I are in agreement, and we have done due diligence to chart out and define expectations, we have laid a firm foundation on which our successful school year may be built.
#2 Get out a Calendar: Hear me now. I'm am not a naturally organized person! This has been a challenge and a hard won victory. I (now) try to live by a calendar. I am a natural visionary (by personality type) and I love visions and purpose and big picture stuff. But the devil is in the details. To pull off a life that is consistent with my priorities and vision, it is a discipline I have had to cultivate. Some moms are great at scheduling on the micro level. But what I'm talking about here is the macro level. The very first thing in my calendar is a weekly date with my husband and it gets done whether I have 'time' or not and whether I feel like it or not. After that, I schedule 2 other events. One is some alone, by myself, devotional time with God. There are conditions placed on this time. One, it has to be out of the house so that I'm not distracted by other things I 'should' be doing. Two, it is totally separate from any study I'm in or teaching or apart from my daily devotional time. It's like my date night with God. Three, it is not about homeschooling. It's just time to sit quietly with my bible, pray and see what He has to say to me. The second of these others is a little more flexible, but I try to do it more often than not. I try to schedule some girl time. This may or may not be as important to you with the same frequency. I'm a hard-core extrovert and too much time at home or with my family, as much as I love them, is not in my own best interest (or their's). This time with girlfriends addresses this need in me and fuels me for the work I do at home. It's like gasoline. If I don't replenish the tank, I will spit and sputter through the week. You may also want (as I do) to schedule your weekly bible studies and service time.
The order in which I listed these calendar commitments is not based on how they should biblical be ordered (i.e. God first, husband 2nd). It is based on my personal struggle. Whatever is most challenging for you to justify and the item you find most consistently gets put on the back burner should be the first item scheduled. For me, I struggle with spending money on date night far more than I struggle to make time to spend with God. I don't feel the need to have as many date nights to feel connected to my husband. He does. So, I schedule date night first.
Moms, you know this is true, we have a tendency to schedule ourselves last and then pray that God will give us the energy to keep going. We have been given a stewardship over our own lives, i.e. time, talent and treasure. We need to be very intentional about how we allocate our resources and how they fall in line with our priorities. It is not selfish. It is responsible. Intentional. Accountable.
After the weekly items, I must carefully measure the kid's activities. Too few and they may not be well balanced (depending on the age) Too many, and you're modeling and teaching slavery. Is organized sports important to or beneficial for your 5 year old? Does your 12 year old need to play every sport he's interested in while the younger kids get carted around to ALL his activities? Is fast food 4 nights a week in your family's best interest? Once the school year gets in full swing, will Thanksgiving be the first time you eat together around the table? Is that okay with you? I have another post scheduled on this topic for a later date. But for now, please consider scheduling family time, free time, unstructured recreation time, and time to cultivate the art of being bored. It is a dying art, and a lack of experience with it fuels entitlement.
Once these items are on the calendar, all new requests can be evaluated on a case by case basis and subordinated (or occassionally, not) to these prior commitments. It really should help draw some lines on when to say "Yes" and when to say "No." Although I'm not suggesting you make the calendar a taskmaster and you it's slave, it should streamline decision making, insulate against the frustration of overcommitment and the resulting feelings of frustration, inadequacy and guilt.
Here's the visual by the late Steven Covey. http://www.appleseeds.org/Big-Rocks_Covey.htm
Just lay out your calendar reflecting your priorities for how to fill the jar. Evaluate yourself regularly to ensure you're living accordingly.
#3 The phone and social media: Your job as a homeschool mom/family manager is your current career. If you were VP of a large corporate marketing firm, your mom or your neighbor or your best friend would not feel free to just give you a little ring on the phone at 9:15 am to chat. And if they did, you'd have to find the courage to tell them, "I can't talk now. It's not respectable corporate behavior." Well, you're your own boss now. Suck it up buttercup and change the message on your answering machine. During school time (however you define it) you should be fully present with your students as though you were being paid to do a job. Here's what your friend should hear on the answering machine, "Hi. You've reached (whatever your school name is) (blank) Academy of Character, Academic and Talent Development. Currently classes are in session. If this is a true emergency, please hang up and dial 9-1-1. Otherwise, please leave a message or call back between the hours of 3:15 and 5:15 (after all, you may be making and enjoying dinner with family.) If this upsets them, arrange with them to get on the calendar (see #2 above) that way they will have their own time slot with you where you don't take phone calls from home. Everyone gets their own undivided time with your full, respectful attention. If they still don't like it, allow them the freedom to be disappointed that they don't get to decide your priorities for you. Give yourself the freedom to be disappointed that they are disappointed and struggling to respect your position as a family manager who has prayerfully considered her priorities with God and husband. (See #1 above and remind yourself of your priorities.) And you really don't have to change your phone message and set official school hours. Just know it's not mean or wrong to command respect for the job you're doing and to set limits on interruptions.
As for social media, you may have to go commando. Discipline. Accountibility. It's a great tool. Just don't let the tail wag the dog.
As for social media, you may have to go commando. Discipline. Accountibility. It's a great tool. Just don't let the tail wag the dog.
There are far more tactics in the devil's handbag and in our own inadequacies to cause our school year to jump the tracks and these are but a few strategies.
I've heard that if you punch a shark squarely on the snout with great target and force, he will turn and leave you. I hope this helps you ball up your fist and take aim.
I've heard that if you punch a shark squarely on the snout with great target and force, he will turn and leave you. I hope this helps you ball up your fist and take aim.
I needed this.
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